What No One Tells You About – Showering, you sociopath, you.

              It wasn’t something I really thought about that much, how am I going to shower once the baby is here? Didn’t cross my mind once. How do put a baby to bed? How will I know what he needs? How do I take care of a baby? Those things plagued my mind for weeks before my son’s arrival, but showering, no didn’t cross my mind. I like being clean but I don’t really like actually taking a shower. It’s a very weird dichotomy I know. Once I was home from the hospital I figured I would shower while my husband cared for the baby. Unfortunately in the beginning this was a difficult thing for my husband to do because my son is very much a mama’s boy, meaning that if he got upset, I was the only one who made it better. This was a major source of frustration for my husband and me.

In the first few weeks I was lucky to shower once a week, disgusting I know. I wasn’t thrilled about it, like I said I don’t like to be stinky, but what was I going to do? Sure my son took 2-3 hour naps during the day but it wasn’t something that I thought about doing. If I did think about it, I filled with dread. What if he wakes up? What if he fusses his way out of his swing and hurts himself. Better to be safe than sorry. (Yes I’m one of those mom’s who’s relied on the swing to get him to sleep through the night and doesn’t sleep in his crib yet). Eventually I got brave and would jump in the shower quickly hoping he wouldn’t wake up when I was in there. Only a small handful of times have I been successful with this venture. Eventually as he got a little bit older he would fall asleep on his nursing pillow on the couch and I would take my chances hoping he wouldn’t wake up. Even then I had such anxiety through my whole shower, what if he rolls off the boppy onto the floor? What if something else happens? What, I had no idea.

            Several times I’ve taken a 20 minute or even 10 minute shower, once the dripping ceases I hear his wailing, quickly toweling myself and run to his side. It makes me feel like a sociopath, how can I be so inconsiderate to shower and leave you unattended?! Hopefully you can hear the silliness in that sentence. Though it’s a hygienic need to be freshly showered at least every other day, I still feel horrible when I find him all clammy and red. I know that I’m not a sociopath, I’m a mom, I’m doing the best I can. I NEED a shower.

            Things improved when my son was about 2 1/2 to 3 months old I could sit him in his little chair in the bathroom while I showered. I’d set my ipod up close to him so he could hear some music. Sliding the door open to check on him a few times, I’d see a content baby eating his hand, perfect. I don’t feel like a horrible mom and you’re not by yourself. This is great. I eventually got on track showering regularly but really, a heads up would have been nice.